September 2012 Hotbuys Review

*Cracks knuckles* Let's get to work, shall we? I think we all know the drill by now. Oh, and look at this season's oh-so-original pieces! Just some random accessories and clothing thrown together last minute with halfway-decent graphics and no solidifying theme! Well, color me surprised.

 

 

Forget what I said just now; I think I've finally found out the theme for this month: seizure-inducement!

 

First, just to kick-start everything on an average note, the HotBuys Runners (sneakers) is what we'll be starting with. I really don't understand it, but they kind of resemble the Skecher's Shape-Ups, you know, the ones that old people wear? Except these lovely sneakers were duct-taped into a dizzyingly-colorful...pattern...if you even want to call it that.

 

Moving on to the HotBuys Chevron Pants (grey pants with pink hearts on them); these honestly aren't too bad. I expected worse, to put it simply.

 

Next is the HotBuys Romper, which seriously resembles the aftermath of an artists' smock after a long day of painting. You know, how they just get random smears and splotches of paint all over their clothing? It's not intentional, Stardoll, please don't even try to attempt the splatter-paint look. Like I've said before, their experiences with rompers hasn't been significantly good enough for me to comment nicely on them.

 

Now we are left with another piece; the varicolored skirt with the black bow belt. I honestly could say worse about it, but my creativity is draining out of me just by looking at it. Not awful, but certainly not good enough to be considered a "Hot Buy" either. It looks like a first season DKNY reject.

 

 I really don't understand the geometric elements of that neon-blue gradient dress. The dress would actually look pretty nice, minus the peach and teal lines zig-zagging across the front.

 

The denim bustier "top" if you can even call it that, looks like something I could see a street hooker wearing. Seriously, it has the appearance of a DIY gone horribly wrong. Someone was trying to combine a bra and the ripped pieces of what used to be denim jeans and obviously didn't do such a good job.

 

Don't even get me started on that next "watermelon" dress. Did someone call a circus ringleader?

 

The Bizou purse really was the trainwreck on top of the car-crash. I don't even know where that came from; did someone just put it in there as a joke? I'm very confused about its classification as a "Hotbuy". Try "Notbuy".

 

Well, I can honestly say that was a huge failure of a masquerade mask, Stardoll. My grandmother probably could have thought of something more original while taking a nap in her lounge chair. Word of advice: never try to mix sunglasses lenses with the outside appearance of a masquerade mask.

 

That neon-pink hanging finger-bone necklace is kind of skeeving me out a little. I'm not a savage who chops off people's hands and bleaches their bones in a pink solution, thank you very much. 

 

 

Well, that just about concludes my rant on this month's Notbuys, or Don'tbuys. Whichever you prefer to call them, because let's face it: the only reason they're selling is due to the decent graphics that aren't on regular items of clothing. What ever happened to the really nice Hotbuys from a few years ago? Boy, do I miss those.



Hit or Miss: Windows on the World and LE Summer 2012

Finally, a new LE collection! I've been waiting forever for this.

I'm sure that was most of our reactions when we all received the advertisement in our mailboxes when we logged on today. So, being the ultimate shopper that I am, I went to go check it out. And there I am, practically salivating as my screen loads the first floor of the new Limited Edition Summer items. Now, mind you, at this point I was expecting diamonds or something, so it was a huge disappointment to find that the outfits were tacky-looking, chintzy, and full of ruffles and weird patterns that I could care less about.

See, with LE items, it's either a hit or a miss. This was a miss.

Honestly, it was incredibly difficult to figure out what the theme was, if there was one at all. Stardoll has certainly been getting lazy and rather un-creative in regards to these rare "Limited Edition" items. I mean, they expect to wow us with a plain, unadorned purple sunhat? the very same one in a different color and more textured than the free Rebecca BonBon red sunhat they gave out in a free promotion a few months ago? They're limited because they must be good, but these were a complete failure. But I'll give them a little credit, at least. Finally they put some mens' clothing in, which sold out in the first thirty minutes. And the LE earrings were nice, as well. But my favorite pieces in this collection would be Circus Tent Pants and the Lace Me Shorts. Both were very versatile and a staple in many virtual closets. That's all I really have to say about this average collection. I've seen worse LE (last month's hideous collection), so it wasn't terrible.

Makeup Tips for Beginners

After nearly wanting to puke at all the poorly-executed make-up attempts on Stardoll, I've decided to compile a few tips of my own.

1. Under no circumstances should you ever use Luxe glittery eyeshadow. Never, never, never. Contrary to popular belief, it is actually incredibly tacky-looking and ridiculous.

2. Never should you ever apply two clashing colors of eyeshadow; for example, blue and yellow. Oh, don't believe me? Just go around and take a look at some of the younger users, unfamiliar with the world of makeup. Sit back and laugh yourself to death.

3. Colored mascara is just plain weird.

4. Hot pink blush is a no-no for pale-skinned dollies. Unless you're going for "circus clown chic". Then by all means, go ahead, my pasty friends.

5. Finally, it is important that you choose a lip liner that is somewhat similar to the color lipstick you have applied to your dollie. I haven't seen much of this on Stardoll of late, but you'd be surprised how many drag-queen-look-a-likes I've witnessed on Stardoll in my day. It's actually rather frightening.